So Hearts at Home is the conference for Mom's mostly Christians to meet and pretty much work on being a better mom and wife. So since I stay home and even though I nanny my primary job is to be a wife and mother of course after a Christian. I was really amped up for this conference and to be honest there were some awesome portions and some not so awesome portions.
So I will reflect in the order it happened.
The first part of the conference was the opening speaker which is Jill Savage. She founded Hearts at Home and is a great speaker. The conference spoke about not being a perfect mom. I read her book, identified with it, enjoyed it. And learned from it.
The talk in itself was pretty much a recap of the book so a little repetitive however teh cool part was there were moms telling their stories about how they are imperfect mothers. It was humbling. We all make mistakes, we all do silly things, we all can be better.
At the end of the first speech or lecture or whatever it is called there was a time you can text things you want to commit to so that you can be a better mom and not expect perfection.
I sent in about realizing Andrew is not perfect and neither am I.
I am not the perfect mom so why do I want Andrew to be the same exact parent as me?
Once those texts came on the screen probably about half were about the same thing.
Then I realized I am not the only one who thinks it is harder to be a wife than a mom.
I am not saying I have an awful husband he is wonderful.
He works full time, he is never late to work, he works really hard to be the best Chemist he can be. He is probably the smartest person I know. He is not afraid to be goofy with Landon or me. He wants the best for me always from everyone. He really is my rock.
The problem that comes in for me is I want him to love me like I think I should be loved.
Like when I think it would be sweet for him to bring me home flowers and he does not I get so mad that he did not know my thoughts or think it as well. What a petty thing to get mad over.
I want him to want to do the dishes...(Anyone else think of "The Break Up")
Seriously what person in their right mind enjoys the dishes, I hate doing them, why wouldn't he?
Pretty much I expect him to know everything I like and how I want everything done and not do a thing the way he wants.
No not really, I would go crazy if I married someone like me.
I am a stinking mess!
The real problem is that I really have no idea at all what I expected or wanted.
The conference helped me to see that.
Well anyway onto Session 1. Let It Go.
Well I lad to let it go lol. It was about being a control freak.
I went in thinking well I am not that mad.
WRONG AGAIN!
I am a grade A manipulator.
I get what I want however I have to get it.
The worst part is, Andrew told me this all the time and I never believed him.
Well Andrew I believe you. lol. And really this killed me.
Andrew has so many great ideas. He can be a great leader and he is a wonderful man. Why can't I just trust him?
Well let's say I am still working on this everyday. Even today Andrew had to tell me that I was manipulating, and then I got mad and then realized he was right and thanked him for telling me and we worked through our conflict without raising voices and with controlled tempers (for him at least I am still working on it.)
After I left there I wanted to be like Andrew do this this and this. I restrained. ''
So teh second one was about being organized. I am not a clean person.
I hate cleaning. I have a sink full of dishes right now just from me and the baby and the only reason it bothers me is because Andrew will not be happy when he gets home and sees it.
Well today is my day off so normally I would go get up and do it but well I am off today Yesterday was Easter and I have been going non stop so today was my day to do bare minimum. Wow what a difference if you ask me.
Well anyway I got some tips. Unfortunately they were not very helpful to me well because I hate cleaning and don't want to put them into play. I know I am awful. I like organizing but I need someone to do it with me. Any takers?
So then it was lunch. If you go bring a lot of snacks definitely not enough food.
Then the next one power of parenting preschoolers. I went to school for early childhood so this one I was hoping for more of a biblical approach since I went to a secular school.
It was nothing I did not already learn. Probably helpful to other moms though.
The last one was loving your husband toward Christ.
It was good, speaker was kind of meh but It did help reinstate he has his job you have yours. You both need to do them regardless of what the other is or is not doing.
Then Candace Cameron wrapped it up with her testimony.
I can honestly say that I enjoyed the conference but I was expecting more. I think since my son is under 1 and my issues were more a marriage thing I would probably have benefited from a womens conference over a moms conference.
What really has hit me since was reading The Real Marriage Series by Mark and Grace Driscoll.
Reflection on that to come soon. It has changed our marriage though. For the good, well amazing.
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